You jest, but as someone who does move my hands while typing, rather than resting my wrists and stretching fingers to reach keys (and suffers no RSI problems, possibly because of that), the biggest reason a typical keyboard is not ergonomic is the relative placement of the modifier keys. When I only need to use one at a time, it can be slow, but it’s never awkward. But I frequently need to use multiple ones in combination, and that’s where things get ugly, because they’re not arranged to make it possible to comfortably hold any combination of the four with one hand while typing modified key with the other. It’s also a problem that there isn’t really a standard for the placement of those modifiers relative to other keys on the keyboard, especially if there’s a fn key, as on most laptops and basically all Apple keyboards (20 years ago, I would only buy Dell laptops because they kept control in the lower left corner, rather than shifting it over like many other manufacturers).
The other reason “standard” keyboards are not ergonomic for people like me is that the row-stagger makes it difficult to reliably hit the intended key on the number row or in the upper right, and nearly impossible to get the intended function row key without looking down.